i am writing this as the ruckus from a religious ceremony held nearby rages on. don’t people flee to the comfort of religion during hard times? and seek out messiah figures - someone like Obama who rides along like a knight to rescue us, and who gives uplifting speeches like the gospel? and the tantalising promises of windfalls too, as seen from our enthusiasm as the people in my office pool funds to buy Toto in bulk.

i am undergoing my first recession as a working adult. as anyone who has gambled before can attest, the winds of luck move invisibly but exerts a palpable force on all. likewise the seasons of the economy.

recalling the bullish times of 2007 when all seemed bright and merry, what has transpired since last september is a startling turn of face. i admit that i acted like a herd animal when i spent without a budget framework during those days. now to say that this behaviour has reversed is more than an understatement. i am now in the state of mind that i derive a sense of satisfaction from saving a few cents. i am being taught a lesson that only the twists and turns of real life can impart.

the past few years have confirmed a suspicion that i started out with. very much in life is determined by money sense. ethics count. good moral attitude counts. but no teacher emphasised the power of money sense to the students of my generation. why were we so hypocritical as to assume that this is a non-issue, as if broaching the topic of money were vulgar?

recently, i heard the sad story of a man who got retrenched. he was a manager and had been employed for only a few months when changes in corporate strategy made his position redundant. his superior had to break the bad news to him. the middle-aged manager pleaded against the decision in tears, saying, “what will my wife say?” his superior, a worldly-wise and experienced man as well, was lost for words and broke down with him.

i was prompted to think - was there anything the manager could have done to reduce his reliance on his job such that the shock and distress of that moment could be lessened? it all boils down to money sense - if he had built a solid financial reserve and had practised diversification in his money habits, his job would not have meant the entire world to him.

this morning as i read the newspapers as part of my Sunday morning ritual, i came across lists of bankrupts in the classifieds. as stated in their NRIC numbers, some of them were born in the same year as me. many others are people of my managers’ generations. some were of my parents’ age. i would really like to interview each of them for his story. what landed them in the hot soup? i like to hear personal stories of success as well as failures. what were the mistakes along each step that led them to bankruptcy? and am i being too arrogant and narrow-minded to judge them as being big failures, especially in the current recession which has ruined the lives of many through no fault of their own?
to come to think about it, much of our behaviour and attitude stems from how much financial backing we have, or the confidence we have in our own resources. people who lick their bosses’ boots are likely those without much money in the bank, with little to fall back on if there is a change in their present job situation. there are women who endure abuse from their husbands or boyfriends because they depend on men for money. and saddest of all, some elderly put up with ill-treatment from their children, because they do not have the financial means to survive otherwise.

everything is in relativity. the subordinate who performs extra favours for his boss may already have a lot of money compared to the average person, but his mind deems it inadequate. the woman’s boyfriend may not be abusive but only given to sarcastic remarks; nevertheless her self-esteem is diminished. the fundamental fact that our personality and behaviour are functions of our perceived financial status remains unchanged.

all these observations make me want to become better and grow stronger. woman, save thyself! easier said than done. but aren’t most facts in life easier stated than done? this realisation is very sobering for me. but just as most problems in life arise because of money, of course, i along with all others, do dream that one day, a sudden windfall will descend on me. it will parachute me out of reality and clear the problems in life in one good, clean wipe.